


Lovesick

by i_took_the_sense_of_humor_in_the_divorce



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, Getting Together, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, POV Simon Snow, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Pining Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Sick Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Simon Snow is Gay for Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Simon Snow is Gay for Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch but doesn't know it yet, Tags Are Hard, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Loves Simon Snow, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:28:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26702968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_took_the_sense_of_humor_in_the_divorce/pseuds/i_took_the_sense_of_humor_in_the_divorce
Summary: AU where lovesick isn’t just a word, it’s an actual magical condition. It’s an extremely rare illness, and it can only occur if True Love is ignored.Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch just happens to be unlucky enough to catch it.Will Simon be able to sort himself out in time to save Baz? Will Baz confess his feelings for Simon? Or is he too stubborn and dramatic for self-preservation?Why not find out?
Relationships: Dev & Niall & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Penelope Bunce & Agatha Wellbelove, Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Penelope Bunce & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 69
Kudos: 282





	1. Something's Very Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any of the characters in this story- they all belong to Rainbow Rowell. This is just a fan-made parody!

**Baz**

I knew something was wrong the moment I woke up feeling hot.

I don’t ever feel hot. In fact, chronically feeling cold is one of the side effects of vampirism. So, I knew something must be deeply wrong when I woke up in a hazy sweat.

The second sensation I noticed was how dizzy I felt when I stood up. It wasn’t really like the room was spinning, it was more like the room was slightly tilted on a diagonal axis.

I stumbled towards the bathroom, but I had to sit down at my desk, I couldn’t even make it all the way there.

I realized it was a bit dark, which made me wonder how early it was so I looked outside.

Probably around six in the morning.

Wait a second…

The sun isn’t there.

Fuck.

I stumble to the window on the opposite end of the room. Sure enough, there’s the sun.

In the _west_.

It’s roughly six, I got that right. But it’s not six in the morning, it’s bloody six at _night_.

I turn around, still clutching onto the windowsill.

Snow’s bed is unmade, which means he hasn’t been back since the morning. Good. I do _not_ want him to see me like this. I stumble over to my closet, and shove on my clothes as quickly as I can. I fall over when I try to put my shoes on, but it doesn’t matter. I stumble down the stairs and quickly realize I don’t know where I’m going.

The Catacombs. I’ll drain a few rats, in case my symptoms get worse later, and I can’t go out to feed.

I make it inside the Catacombs by some miracle or other, and immediately have to sit down once I’m inside. This is bad. This is really, _really_ bad. I quickly catch and drain as many rats as I can manage, and stumble back to Mummer’s house. I make it almost to the top of the stairs before collapsing a flight before I reach our room.

I use my last bit of strength to hoist myself up the stairs and into the room before passing out on the floor.

I come to and gain enough consciousness to realize that Simon is trying to shake me awake.

“Baz! Baz! What happened?”

I roll over and glare at him, “Nothing, Snow. Can’t you learn to mind your own bloody business?”

He quickly recoils, and his mouth hangs open as he gapes at me.

“Baz, your _face_!”

“What about my face?” I hiss at him.

“I-It’s got- you have… it-”, he stammers.

“Use your _words_ , Snow.”

“Marks!”

“Marks? What do you mean, ‘marks’?” I growl at him. I’m not in the mood for his nonsense today.

“Your face has red splotches all over it!”

I feel a pit open up in my stomach. I throw myself onto my feet and rush into the bathroom as gracefully as I can. Thankfully I think the sleep helped- I’m not dizzy anymore.

I grip the counter as the mirror reveals that Snow was telling the truth- my face is covered in peculiar red splotches. _Merlin and Morgana_. This can’t be happening.

They’re shaped like bloody hearts. Each and every one of them is shaped like a broken heart.

Fuck.

Fuck. _Fuck_. FUCK!

_Aleister fucking Crowley_ , as if my life couldn’t get any worse.

I don’t say anything. There’s nothing left to say. Simon reaches his hand up towards me and I startle, “Anathema!”

“I know, I know, I’m not going to hurt you.” He’s stressed. I can tell by the way the words come out strained and rapid.

He presses the back of his hand to my forehead. His hand feels so cool against my skin. The irony is not lost on me, bonfire that he is.

“Jesus Christ, Baz! You’re burning up!” He pulls his hand away. He must be freaking out, because he’s swearing like a Normal. I don’t see why he should care whether I’m sick or not, though.

I don’t feel so good. I start to sway on my feet, and the last thing I remember before keeling over is Simon saying he should go get Penelope Bunce.

I’m so tired. I want to sleep, so I do.

**Simon**

Something is seriously wrong with Baz. First, he wasn’t at breakfast. That’s not a huge deal, he probably decided to sleep in. But when he doesn’t show up for Latin, I start to get suspicious. Baz just reappeared at Watford two weeks ago, he would not be one to start skipping classes.

He must be plotting. He’s probably down in the Catacombs, rehearsing his latest murder plot.

By dinner I still haven’t seen Baz. That is a bad sign. Baz plots all the time, and still always makes it to dinner.

Maybe he dropped dead or something. My stomach churns at the thought. I don’t know why. I’m supposed to want him dead, he’s my sworn enemy.

I stepped into our room, and I was frightened to see that I was right.

Baz was lying on the floor, face down. Dead.

No, wait. He was breathing.

I sighed with relief. Not because he’s alive, but because it means I won’t have to explain to The Mage why my nemesis was suddenly lying dead on our bedroom floor.

I tried to nudge him awake with my foot. Why was he sleeping on the floor anyway?

He didn’t stir.

I poked the back of his head. Once. Twice.

Nothing.

I jostled his arm. He didn’t even notice.

“Baz!” I hissed at him. “Wake up!”

He groaned like something was hurting him, and I started shaking him awake.

He started swaying after I felt his temperature. He falls over, and I caught him.

He’s never been this sick before. Something is wrong. He’s got those awful marks on his face, they’re almost… heart shaped? I take a closer look and realize that they are all shaped like tiny hearts.

They look like chicken pox, but the spots from chicken pox aren’t shaped like little hearts.

I should get Penny. She’ll know what’s wrong with Baz. I drag Baz into our room, and shove him onto his bed. He doesn’t even stir _once_. He’s completely knocked out. I feel his forehead once more, just to make sure. It feels even hotter than before, somehow.

I run out of Mummers house and towards the library.

Penny had better know what’s wrong with Baz.


	2. Dev and Niall Get Involved

**Simon**

I don’t make it all the way to the library. Baz’s asshole friends Dev and Niall corner me before I get there.

“Snow. Where is Baz?” Niall growls at me.

“He’s sick,” I reply.

“Bullshit,” Dev shuts me down. “Baz doesn’t get sick.”

“Look, _Dev_ , I don’t know what you want me to tell you. I can take you to him right now, if you want, but he’s really sick.” I hiss back at him.

Niall seems slightly taken aback at my offer. Dev crosses his arms and juts out his chin at me.

“Alright then, Snow,” Dev smirks. “Lead the way.”

I roll my eyes. Of course they’d take me up on my offer. My mistake for offering, I guess. I really just wanted to get rid of them, but it looks like that’s not happening.

I march up the stairs of the tower again. I throw open the door when we get to the top, and point at Baz’s sleeping form.

“See? What did I tell you? He’s sick!”

They look genuinely surprised that he’s here.

Niall pushes past me and into the room.

“Hey! You can’t just-”

“Baz!” Niall tries to shake him awake.

Dev slaps Baz across the face. I try not to laugh, because this is serious.

He doesn’t wake up. I knew he wouldn’t. He’s out cold.

Dev’s head snaps up and his eyes make fierce contact with mine. He’s pissed.

“You!” He points an accusatory finger at me, “You did something! You cursed him or something!”

Niall grabs his arm.

“Dev,” he’s speaking softly, but his voice is filled with panic. “Dev! Look at Baz’s face!”

Ah, they finally noticed the spots. Took them less time than it took me, but they seem to be getting more pronounced, so I’m not surprised.

Dev goes pale when he sees the marks. I’m kind of surprised. I mean sure they’re bad, but they’re probably just a form of hives or a rash or some other symptom. It’s probably just a coincidence that they’re heart-shaped.

“It can’t be…” Dev whispers.

Niall looks like he’s about to hyperventilate.

“It has to be!” I think he _is_ hyperventilating. “But how? I thought it could only happen if…”

His eyes suddenly widen and he yanks Dev down so he can whisper in his ear. I can’t make out a single thing they’re saying. I should really be going to get Penny, but I don’t think I should leave them here alone.

Dev nods at something Niall says.

“Right,” he turns to me. “Snow you cannot tell anyone about this.”

I shake my head.

“I already told Baz I was going to get Penny, which reminds me, you two need to get the hell out of here so I can go.”

“Bunce? But she’s- never mind, not important right now. You have to go get her _now_. We’re going to stay here in case Baz wakes up. Tell Bunce to bring her books on Magickal Sicknesses. Go! Hurry!” Niall’s voice and face are wrought with urgency.

I don’t question them. If they think something is that wrong- they’re probably right. They know Baz best, after all.

I race into the library and search for Penny. I’m a little frantic. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because Dev and Niall will kill me if I take too long. Yeah, that’s why.

I find Penny between the shelves of the history section. Typical Pen.

“Penny! You have to come, quick!” The words spill out as soon as I see her.

“Simon? What is it? Is everything okay?”

I take a deep breath but grab her wrist and tug her towards the door.

“Baz is sick! Niall mentioned something about Magickal Sicknesses books? He and Dev are in our room, we gotta go!”

“Baz?” Penny eyed me suspiciously. “Simon this isn’t just you trying to prove he’s plotting or something, right?”

“I wish it was,” I almost shout. I don’t know why I said that.

Penny suddenly becomes alarmed and caves.

“Alright, Simon! I’m going to my room to get my books on Magickal Sicknesses, I’ll meet you back at Mummers in a few minutes.”

“Okay.” I say, wringing my hands. I’m starting to get really stressed out. My magic is leaking all over the place.

Penny grabs my shoulder.

“Breathe, Simon. Don’t panic. It’s going to be okay.”

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and count to ten. When I open them, I feel my magic slowly recede.

I run back to Mummer’s house and take the stairs two at a time.

I’m relieved to find Dev and Niall sitting on the edge of Baz’s bed. I enter, very out of breath, and Niall looks at me expectantly.

“Well, Snow?”

“Penny’s on her way,” I pant. “She’s getting her books from her room right now.”

“Thank you,” Niall nods. “I got him a cold wash cloth from your bathroom for his fever.”

I nod in return. Niall’s surprisingly civil. Dev hasn’t said much, but he’s holding Niall’s hand. Neither of them have murdered me yet, which is nice.

Penny finally shows up. Dev stands to greet her. It’s strange seeing them interact. Dev and Niall despise me, but they seem to respect Penny. Neither of Baz’s friends ask how she was able to get past the wards.

“Boys,” Penny nods in greeting.

“Bunce,” Dev nods back. “We need your help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! That update took a bit longer than intended, sorry!
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> I'll be back with more soon! :))


	3. Some Good True Love Has Done

**Niall**

Lovesickness is one of the only magickal sicknesses that can only be cured by **True Love’s Kiss**. Penelope Bunce and I discovered this while collaborating on a partnered term paper last year. There are very few recorded cases of Lovesickness in recent medical history, and the symptoms are so varied that it’s hard to identify. The only obvious common denominator between the cases are heart-shaped red spots.

The very same heart-shaped red spots that Baz is currently covered in.

And I’m nearly positive Simon fucking Snow is the cause of this.

Of course, I’m not going to say that to anyone. Baz would not only throw me out the window of Mummer’s tower, but he would likely throw _himself_ out the window after me.

He told me about his feelings, once. It was just the two of us, and he was drunk as all hell. I doubt he remembers it, lightweight that he is.

_He was curled up in a ball on my floor, and he started crying._

_“Why are you crying, Baz?”_

_“Cuz,” he mumbled. “He could kill me and it’d probably make me love him even more for it, Niall.”_

_“Who?” I asked him, confused. Baz loved someone?_

_“Simon.”_

_It was like a missing piece in this great puzzle suddenly clicked into place._

_“You’re drunk,” I shove him lightly._

_“I’m wasted,” He sniveled._

He’s a terribly morose drunk. And a dramatic nightmare when sober.

But he is my best friend. And what kind of friend shares the other’s drunkenly spilled secrets?

Some good **True Love** has done for him.

I’m somewhat at a loss for words when I see the spots. I don’t want to believe it. I don’t want to accept that they’re real, because that would mean that it’s true.

That would mean that my best friend is going to die.

And that is not a truth I care to entertain.

**Dev**

I saw Niall realize what was wrong before I realized it myself.

Fucking Lovesickness.

It makes a little sense, in a weird twisted way.

It would’ve had to be a magickal sickness for Baz to come down with it. I don’t think vampires _can_ get sick otherwise.

Niall knows too much about this disease for his own good. Especially when one of his best friends has seemingly contracted it. I’m worried about him.

I’m also worried about Baz, but that’s a long term concern.

Right now I’m worried about Niall. He’s not taking this well. I don’t think there really is a way to take this well, if I’m being honest, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying.

However, if anyone knows how to go about dealing with Lovesickness, it’s gotta be Niall. Penelope Bunce may be the one competing with Baz for top marks, but Niall really poured his heart and soul into researching for that project. Every night he would tell me all the fascinating things he’d read about it. I loved hearing him talk about it. I never thought I’d be interested in a magickal sickness so much, but it’s hard not to be when Niall’s the one talking about it.

Brushing the topic of my thoughts and feelings for Niall aside, I’m worried.

I’m worried and I’m angry.

I’m worried for Baz, I’m worried for Niall, I’m worried that this might be the end for the three of us.

I’m angry at Baz. He hasn’t done anything yet, but knowing him he’s only going to make all of this worse for himself and everyone involved.

Stupid prick. He had to go and fall in love, didn’t he?

…Not that I can talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiii! Oops I meant to write this a couple days ago, but I've been really lacking inspiration. 
> 
> Sorry for the slight delay, and thank you all so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> P.S. all of your comments make me so so happy so thank you to everyone who leaves comments! you're all so sweet and amazing!


	4. A Decidedly Stupid Metaphor

**Baz**

My eyes slowly flutter open as I hear Simon and Dev shouting.

“What do you mean he’s got less than two months left?!” Simon’s voice is so loud. Too loud. And the room is so bright. Too bright.

“He only has one week remaining for each year he’s known the person, Snow!” Dev shouts back furiously. “He’s seventeen, and they have to be someone from Watford, meaning he’s only known them for a max seven years! Seven years at best means he has seven weeks left, at _most_!”

“Shhhh!” Niall hushes them. “He’s awake!”

I push myself so I’m sitting upright, which takes more effort than I’d like to show.

“What in the name of magic are all of you doing?” I try to hiss but it comes out pained.

Penelope Bunce, Simon Snow, Dev, and Niall are all gathered around my bed.

“How did you even get in here?” I stare at Penny, visibly confused.

“Never mind that,” she brushes me off. “I think you should be the one to tell him, Niall.” She squeezes his shoulder before grabbing Simon and dragging him out of the room.

“We’ll be back in a little while, take your time.” She calls before closing the door behind her.

“I should go too,” Dev says softly. “I’ll be back soon, don’t worry.”

“Okay,” Niall sighs.

And now it’s just us.

Niall turns to me, and I can see that he’s been crying.

“What is it?” I ask softly. I don’t want to upset him more than he already is.

“You had to go and fall in love with Snow, didn’t you?” He laughs softly.

Fuck. He cannot be serious.

I made sure no one knew about that. I was so careful, I don’t understand where I slipped up.

He must see the panic on my face because he sits down on my bed and continues, “You told me, one night when we got absolutely plastered.”

“Niall, I don’t know what you think I said, but I can assure you-” I scramble to refute it, but he holds up a hand to silence me.

“It’s alright, Baz. I’m not going to tell anyone,” He’s smiling in the way he does when he’s trying to comfort me. “I just wish it didn’t have to go this far.”

I nod and feel tears well up behind my eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I feel a tear fall, and I see one slip down Niall’s face too.

“Don’t apologize, you stupid prick. It’s not your fault. I just…” he takes a shaky breath. “I don’t want my best friend to die, is all.”

I nod again.

“So… it’s Lovesickness, isn’t it?” I ask hesitantly.

Niall nods grimly. I sigh. I’ve got one week left for each year since I’ve met Simon.

Seven weeks. That’s only until the middle of December.

And the only cure is **True Love’s Kiss** , meaning there really isn’t a cure at all. Not for me.

It’s not only hopeless- it’s downright impossible. True Love’s Kiss can only be performed if someone who feels the purest form of love for someone, that love has to be acknowledged by the caster, and it has to be reciprocated on both ends.

When I was younger, I used to think I would find **True Love** someday. That was before I became a monster. I never even thought I was capable of **True Love** , but I have the heart-shaped spots to prove that I am.

I am in **True Love** with Simon Snow.

I am truly fucked.

**Simon**

“Simon, I know you’re upset, but you need to calm down,” Penny says, somewhat exasperated. “There isn’t anything we can do!”

I swing the Sword of Mages around so it strikes deep into another tree. I’ve been stomping around the Wavering Wood for half an hour now, taking my anger out on the flora.

“No, Penny! There has to be something,” I say and try to yank my sword out of the tree. It’s stuck deep in the wood.

“There’s _always_ something!” I scream and tug on the sword harder, kicking at the tree, hoping the momentum will give me leverage.

I tug and tug, but it’s no use. The sword is buried too deep in the wood. My efforts are useless.

There’s probably a metaphor here, but it’s decidedly stupid, and I hate it.

Fuck the Wavering Wood. I should really take it off my list.

“Simon, it’s no use being pig-headed about it!” Penny scolds. “The only cure to Lovesickness is **True Love’s Kiss** , and unless Baz’s **True Love** suddenly manifests, in the most improbable circumstances possible, no less, he’s not going to make it. I’m sorry Simon, but it’s the truth.”

That’s when a lightbulb goes off in my brain.

“Wait, Penny, let me get this straight,” I start slowly. “If Baz’s **True Love** gives him **True Love’s Kiss** , then he’ll be all better?”

“Technically, yes. But you can’t just-”

“Penny! This is perfect! All we have to do is get Baz to tell us who it is!” I tug harshly on my sword and it swings free.

“Simon, I don’t think-”

“Pen, come on! We have to _try_! If Baz is going to…” I omit that part of my sentence and shakily continue. “It can’t hurt to _try_.”

Penny sighs at me, but doesn’t protest. I think she knows I wouldn’t listen to her anyway.

“Alright, Simon. But I strongly doubt he’ll co-operate.” She pushes her glasses higher on her face.

I make a mad dash for Mummer’s House.

It will work. I’m sure it will work. It _has_ to.

Because I don’t want to think about what will happen if it doesn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo! I'm back! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for reading it! 
> 
> I've been in a bit of a writing funk lately, but all of your comments have really helped give me motivation so thank you guys!! 🥺💕
> 
> I'll be back with more soon (hopefullly)!


	5. It Takes a Lost Cause to Know a Lost Cause

**Baz**

Simon Snow is the root of quite a handful of my problems. Scratch that, Simon Snow bloody _is_ one of my problems.

And like most problems, it only ever seems to get worse.

For instance, right in the middle of a very private and sentimental moment with Niall, who do you think decides it’s a good time to practically kick down the door of our bedroom?

“Great Snakes, Snow! What the actual fuck is your problem?!” I practically shriek in surprise.

“I figured out how to fix this!” He beams at me.

No… He can’t possibly… No, that’s absurd. I may have drunkenly confessed to Niall, but I can say for certain that Simon Snow is entirely oblivious about my feelings for him.

“You just have to tell us who it is that you’re in love with!” He’s still smiling at me.

“Wow! That’s so easy! Why didn’t I think of that?” I plaster an obnoxious smile on my face. “Oh wait, maybe it’s because it’s completely idiotic!”

“ _Baaaaz_ ,” He whines. “Come on! We can fix this! Just tell us who it is.” He folds his arms across his chest and frowns down at me.

“That’s easy, no,” I glare up at him.

“Does Niall know who it is?” He raises both of his eyebrows at me, looking simultaneously stupid and adorable.

“No,” I growl.

“Yes, he does!” He grins triumphantly. “Niall, come on, which girl is it?”

Niall stands up and brushes past Simon.

  
“It’s none of your bloody business, Snow. That’s what it is,” Niall hisses and saunters into the bathroom, presumably to fetch another damp face cloth.

Good man.

**Simon**

If Baz wasn’t sick and if it weren’t for the Anathema, I would probably punch him.

He’s _so_ selfish. Why doesn’t he want to tell me who it is? Who could it be that wouldn’t love him back?

Is it Agatha? No, that wouldn’t make sense, she definitely would love him back. Is it Penny? No, he doesn’t seem interested in her. Besides, she’s already taken. 

Who could it be?

“Baz, come on. You’re really just going to give up?” I kick the end of his bed lightly.

“Yes, Snow, I have given up,” He hisses at me. “Because unlike you, I can recognize a lost cause when I see one.”

He’s so bloody _selfish_.

“Well it takes one to know one, doesn’t it?” I growl and storm out, slamming the door behind me.

He’s such a selfish prick. Why can’t he see that I’m trying to help him not die?

Why _am_ I trying to help him? Maybe it’s a hero complex thing. Penny always tells me I have a hero complex.

I’m a bloody lousy hero. Heroes are supposed to save people, how am I supposed to be a hero when I can’t even save Baz from a stupid magickal disease?

I guess I probably shouldn’t care whether Baz lives or dies. He’s my enemy, and a vampire, and a pain in my arse.

But… he’s Baz. He’s a total prick, but he doesn’t deserve to die of a broken heart… No one does. Not even annoying pricks like Baz.

I guess I don’t really want him to die. I don’t want anyone to die.

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted Baz dead. I’ve always known we were supposed to fight each other, I kind of thought I’d be dead before that ever happened. So many people are out to get me, it never really seemed like I’d survive to a point where I had to worry about Baz dying.

Between the Humdrum, the Old Families, every goblin in existence, and even Baz himself being after my head, I never thought I might outlive him.

I don’t want him to die. I don’t want to fight him, either.

I want both of us to live.

And if Baz is going to make saving his love life (and actual life) difficult, then I’ll just have to work around him.

I know his social security number; how hard can it be for me to figure out who he’s in love with?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo! oops, I meant to write this like a week ago... sorry! 
> 
> Life has been a bit hectic, and online school is absolutely killing me, but I will try to upload more regularly!
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> P.S. to everyone who leaves kudos and comments, you're amazing and I love you <3


	6. Don't you hate me?

**Baz**

It’s been two weeks since I first showed symptoms of Lovesickness, and I might actually prefer death to this. Every day I wake up in a feverish sweat, and most days I can’t even pull myself together enough to go to class, and I only get out of bed to use the bathroom and sneak down to the catacombs to get my daily fill of rat blood.

If that wasn’t bad enough, Snow refuses to stop trying to guess who I’m in love with. It’s driving me positively insane.

He opens the door of our room and carries over a tray with dinner and a thermometer that he told me Dev stole from the infirmary.

“How are you feeling?” He asks as he puts the tray down on my bedside table.

“Why do you care, Snow?” I grumble and prop myself up so I can eat.

“Why shouldn’t I?” He shrugs and sits cross-legged on his bed.

“Because you hate me,” I supply and sip carefully on the soup he brought me.

“Do I?”

I nearly choke on my soup. He… _doesn’t_ hate me? He doesn’t _hate_ me?

No matter which part of that notion I emphasize, it still sounds impossible. Simon Snow hating me seems as inevitable and constant as the earth’s rotation on its axis.

“Don’t you?” I glare at him while wiping my mouth on my pajama sleeve. It’s gross, but Simon didn’t bother to bring me any napkins. Of course he wouldn’t, he eats like a wild animal.

“Would I have brought you soup if I really hated you?” He hunches his shoulders and watches me sip on the soup. Thank Magic that soup doesn’t make my fangs drop.

“Would you?” He probably would. Snow is ever the hero.

He wrinkles his nose at me.

“You’re such a prick.”

“Am I?” I press my hand to my chest in mock surprise. I’m not dead yet, I can be as sarcastic as I please.

“Fuck off, Baz,” Simon says half-heartedly and he tosses a crumpled ball of paper at me. It’s probably a list of every girl in our school that’s ever laid eyes on me, knowing him.

“So…,” he starts. “I know you don’t want to tell me which girl you’re in love with, but I was thinking…”

“That’s a first, for you,” I snap. I can’t help it, it’s a reflex, at this point. I don’t even mean to say half of my insults for him, they just jump out on their own.

“Shut up,” he brushes it off. “Why don’t you just tell the girl that you like her?”

“Obviously if that was the issue I wouldn’t be dying, Snow,” I raise my eyebrow at him.

“What do you mean?” He screws up his face in confusion.

“If they returned my feelings, I obviously wouldn’t have had to ignore mine to the point of developing this bloody illness in the first place!” I snarl at him.

He doesn’t say anything, and I go back to slowly sipping my soup. I hate soup.

“Have you been honest with her about how you feel?” He asks quietly, his plain blue eyes never leaving the floor.

I haven’t been honest about how I feel, but I don’t intend to start being honest about my feelings now. I’m as good as dead already, why subject myself to inevitable rejection before I finally go?

“No.”

I did not mean to say that.

“Why? Any girl would return your affections!” Simon jumps to his feet and starts pacing around the room. “You’re the fittest bloke in our school, for Merlin’s sake! Baz you _have_ to tell her!”

“Snow, please, just give up. I’ve accepted that he’s not going to love me back, just move on!”

I directed that at myself more than him. I screw up my eyes and drop my face into my hands, willing myself not to cry.

“He?” Simon stops dead in his tracks.

Fuck.

“Well… are you going to tell me who he is?”

“I’d rather die,” I groan into my hands.

“I know, Baz! I bloody got that part, okay?!” Snow yells at me.

“Why can’t you just stay out of it, Snow?!” I yell back hoarsely. 

I stand up on shaky legs and brush past him as I walk towards the ensuite. I can’t handle this.

It’s bitter and painful, but I wish he wanted me dead. I wish he would do a happy dance on my fucking grave.

It’s too much for me to handle. He says he doesn’t hate me. I wish I could accept that as a sort of parting gift, or a final act of kindness from the universe to make up for a lifetime of misfortune, but I can’t. It was easier to pretend that I hated him, to push my feelings deep inside myself and ignore how much they hurt me.

But the pain in my chest isn’t just from my feelings anymore. When my stomach churns and my heart aches, I don’t have the comfort of knowing it’s just love. Because it is love, but it isn’t _just_ love anymore.

I don’t allow myself the luxury of self-pity anymore. I knew the day would come when Simon Snow would be the end of me.

I have never been delusional enough to hope that he might dread that day too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii! Okay so I'm almost back on track with my former upload schedule, but I don't think I can quite manage that anymore, so I'm going to try for uploads every 2-3 days. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! 
> 
> P.S. thank you to everyone who comments/leaves kudos!! you guys are amazing!! love you all!! <3


	7. Hope from the Library

**Simon**

It’s the fifth week of Baz’s symptoms, and it’s by far the worst week yet. He can’t keep any of his food down, not even soup. He seems to be keeping blood down, but I don’t think that will last much longer either. At least he always makes it to the toilet in time. I don’t fancy having to clean up after him otherwise.

He still won’t admit he’s a vampire. He thinks he sneaks down to the Catacombs unnoticed, but I’ve taken to following him to make sure he doesn’t collapse on his way down there. I have Penny cast **You Can’t See Me** or **Now You See Me, Now You Don’t** on me before I follow him.

I stopped going to class. I spend my time in the library instead, combing medical records for a cure. Sometimes Dev and Niall join me. We haven’t found anything yet.

I spend all of my remaining time with Baz. He says he wants to be left alone, but I don’t leave the room unless I have to.

Yesterday Dev and Niall found out that Baz hadn’t told his family, so they called Malcom and Fiona. I couldn’t believe he never told his dad. Niall gave me a heads up that Malcom and Fiona were coming to see him today, so I’m spending the day in the library.

I flip through another volume of medical records. I won’t find anything, but stopping feels too much like giving up. My face grows hot and my eyes blur. I squeeze them shut and count to ten.

When I open them, I find that a lone tear has fallen on a word that makes my heart stop.

_Lovesickness_.

**Baz**

One thing I did not expect today was that my father and my aunt would come bursting through the door entirely unannounced.

Apparently, Dev called them and told them about my condition. I was specifically avoiding telling them, for a number of reasons.

First of all, they would want to take me back to Hampshire. Luckily, my condition has become bad enough that it’s too dangerous for me to leave Watford.

Second of all, I didn’t think they’d understand. But… the look on my father’s face when he sees the heart shaped spots that have now become crimson tells me otherwise.

Fiona didn’t spare me from her thoughts on the matter, but I know her lecturing was just a way of expressing how upset she is.

Eventually Fiona took a cigarette break and my father sat down on my bed.

“Basil,” he started, his voice hoarse. “I’ve been thinking about this situation… and I believe I owe you an apology.”

“Father-”

“No, Basil. I’m sorry,” He sighed. He looks much older than when I saw him last. “I can’t help but think that I am partially responsible for this. I am one of the primary reasons you’ve had to hide your feelings, and for that I am sorry.”

“Father-” I’m suddenly interrupted when the door flies open and Simon bursts in followed by a wide-eyed Fiona.

“Baz!” Simon’s panting like he just ran all the way across Watford.

“What the fuck, Snow?!” I growl angrily. That oaf can’t manage to even give me privacy during what might very well be my last conversation with my father.

“Baz! I found it!” Snow’s still panting like a dog. Bloody mouth breather.

“Found what, Snow? What could possibly be so important that you need to come barreling in here like complete numpty that you are?” I hiss at him.

Simon straightens his posture and his plain blue eyes lock with mine.

“I found a cure.”


	8. Love to Forget

**Baz**

Simon Snow managed to not only find a cure to a Magickal Illness that was previously thought to be “incurable”, but he was able to locate the exact spell needed to perform said cure.

I would be impressed, if the cure didn’t ask something of me that I can’t give.

The spell Simon found is **Love to Forget**. It’s extremely advanced, and it erases all your memories of the person you’re in love with.

It’s exactly the kind of solution I’ve searched for since I was fifteen, and yet…

I don’t want it.

It would save my life, but I would lose every piece of Simon Snow that I have. And when I wake up after the spell and can’t remember him, he’ll know that he was the one I loved all along.

I’ll admit, the convenience is tempting. I wouldn’t have to wake up every morning bombarded by Simon’s scent, and sounds, and looks. I wouldn’t have to fall asleep every night just to dream about blue eyes and bronze curls. I wouldn’t have to be yet another source of disappointment for my family when the time comes for us to fight.

But… loving Simon Snow has been a motif of my life for so long that it’s engraved into my being. Loosing Simon, even just losing my feelings for Simon, would be like losing a piece of myself.

He’s the sun, and I’m crashing into him.

And I know now that I would never have it any other way.

Life without Simon Snow, even a possibly immortal life, would be empty. It would be as if someone stole away the sun.

When I was eleven years old, I’d lost my mother, and my soul, and the Crucible gave me _him_. And even though I can never have him, even though he never was and never will be mine, he has been the guiding light for me though so much darkness.

And… I know there isn’t a light at the end of my tunnel now, it’s too late for me, but I’m only truly _me_ because of _him_.

So the choice is laid before me, life or Simon Snow?

I choose Simon Snow.

**Simon**

“What do you mean, ‘no’?!” Malcom Grimm and I growl at the same time.

“Have you lost your bloody mind, Baz?!” I scream at him. I’m angry.

I’m furious. I’ve spent weeks searching for a cure, and I finally found it! I found him a cure to his bloody incurable disease, and he won’t take it!

He’s so bloody _selfish_! He thinks he can just choose to die over some bloke and leave me all alone like this? No bloke who breaks Baz’s heart is worth Baz dying for. No bloke is worth Baz dying _ever_.

My magic starts to leak and Malcom Grim coughs loudly.

“I won’t do it,” Baz says softly.

I storm out of Mummer’s House and make my way into the Wavering Wood. I summon my sword and pull back to strike a tree, but instead of following through in a steady motion, I crumble to my knees.

I bury my face in my arms and feel my hot tears falling onto the sleeves of my blazer.

Why can’t Baz just accept the cure? What makes that stupid bloke so special that he’s worth dying over?

I try to think of something positive, any good side to this whole crap situation. At least I won’t have to share the bathroom anymore? No. Nope. Wrong thing to think about.

Now I’m being plagued by images of Baz’s empty bed.

Why did he have to go and fall in love with another bloke?

Wait… _another_ bloke?

No. No, no, no. I cannot seriously be jealous of the boy Baz is in love with.

…But the familiar knots in my stomach when I think about Baz are starting to say otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooow okay so I got a little out of hand with the sappy self-sacrificing theme that Baz is going for... oops...
> 
> Thank you guys so so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! I'll be back with more soon!! <3 <3
> 
> P.S. all of your comments make me so happy I can't even begin to articulate how much I appreciate it! Some not-so-great stuff has been happening in my life recently, and you all make me feel so much better, thank you guys!!! :))) <3 <3


	9. "I'm Sorry's" and "If it were me's"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiii!! Okay so I feel kind of evil for making this fic such an angsty slow burn, but I promise it won't last forever! ;)
> 
> I'm seriously having so much fun writing this (sounds kinda twisted to say since it's been nothing but grief but it's true). I usually really don't like my writing, but I actually feel pretty good about this fic for once! :)
> 
> Thank you all for reading (I hope you enjoyed it) and extra thanks to anyone who leaves kudos and/or comments (you're all so amazing, I seriously adore you so so much)! :D
> 
> P.S. If anyone has a request for a certain fic or a prompt they would like to see me use, please feel free to comment it! I can't promise I'll get around to writing it immediately, but I'd love to try! :)

**Simon**

I didn’t go back to our room after storming out. I couldn’t.

How was I supposed to pretend that nothing has changed? I suppose nothing really _has_ changed. I’m just… _aware_ now.

I’m in love with Baz Pitch, and I have been for some time.

I almost wish I’d never figured it out. He’s going to die. There’s nothing I can do to stop that. I tried, Merlin, I fucking tried. And I succeeded! I found a cure, but he loves that bloke so much that he won’t take the cure. I can’t help but feel a bit heartbroken from that.

I used to think that Baz was like a statue. He was a cold, unfeeling, block of marble crafted into the shape of perfection. But Baz isn’t like that at all. He exudes nothing but confidence and even arrogance, but it’s nothing more than a mask.

I used to think he didn’t really have feelings. It sounds stupid and incredibly insensitive, but it’s true. He never let anyone see that he was… scared? Soft?

Vulnerable.

But he doesn’t have his walls up now. It could be the fever, or the idea that nothing he does matters anymore, but… he’s letting his guard down enough for me to see him. To really see him, not just to see who he shows everyone else.

Baz… I’m sorry. I know I’m just saying this all inside my head, and you’ll never hear it, but… I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was such a prick to you all these years. I’m sorry that I let myself believe that I hated you. I’m sorry it took me so long to see that no, I’ve never really hated you, have I? I’m sorry I’m so shit with words, and I’m sorry I can’t ever say these things to you.

I’m sorry that it isn’t me. If it were me…

If it were me, I would tell you that you were wrong. If it were me, I would grab you and hold you close to me and tell you that you’re so, so wrong. Because how couldn’t I love you back?

If it were me, I would tell you that I loved you and never let you go. If it were me, I wouldn’t _have_ to let go, because if it were me, we would have all the time in the world.

But it isn’t me. Because you hate me.

I never thought I would be so hopeless, but now my head is full of “I’m-sorry’s” and “If-it-were-me’s”.

I can’t handle this. I can’t lose Baz, I just finally _found_ him, in the way that really matters.

**Baz**

Snow didn’t come back after he stormed out. My father and Fiona eventually left. It was hard not to feel a bit guilty for refusing the cure.

I love my family… I do, but… life without Simon wouldn’t be worth living anyways.

Snow doesn’t come back after they leave. He doesn’t come back at all until dinner.

When he finally returns, he acts… weird. He never looks at me. He hardly speaks. He looks…

He looks _broken_. He has that awful, empty look on his face that he only ever gets after waking up from a nightmare. That face breaks my undead heart in two every time I see it. 

I wish… I wish that just once, I could make him smile. That I could say something that didn’t make him hate me.

I’m already dying… it can’t hurt to try and cheer him up a bit.

“Snow,” I start and he jumps like I scared him. Crowley, this is going to be harder than I thought.

I beckon for him to come closer, and he does.

“I am going to say this once, and only once, okay?”

He nods.

I shakily continue, “Snow… don’t feel bad for me, alright?”

“Baz, you’re dying, and I couldn’t-”

“Did no one tell you it’s rude to interrupt people?” I manage to let a small smile show. “Snow, don’t feel bad. I did this to myself. There was never anything anyone could do to stop it, alright?”

“Baz-”

“Snow, don’t. If I wanted to get a reaction from you, I would have spelled your shoelaces so that they would always come undone no matter how many times you knot them.”

He finally looks up at me, but he isn’t laughing. He doesn’t smile. I always say the wrong thing.

“Baz…”

“Snow, don’t.”

“Baz, is there really a spell for that?” He asks, not smiling, but the broken look in his eyes has faded to a dull sadness.

“Of course there is,” I scoff. “Although I’m not going to tell you what it is, you’d try to cast it and every shoelace in the whole school would vanish into thin air.”

The ends of his lovely mouth quirk up in something that could be half a smile.

**Simon**

I slowly reach my hand up to check his fever. I can tell it’s bad, but I grab the stolen thermometer from the nightstand anyway.

“Open up,” I order.

“No,” He draws his lips into a tight line. He hates the thermometer. I think he’s worried his fangs might puncture it and he’ll end up with a mouthful of broken glass and mercury or something.

“Don’t make me make you,” I warn.

“I’d like to see you try,” Baz growls through clenched teeth.

I jab him in the hip and when he opens his mouth to whine, I stick the thermometer in.

“Never become a doctor, Snow,” He grumbles around the thermometer.

“Never become my patient, Baz.”

“Bit late for that,” He sneers.


	10. More Permanent

**Baz**

It’s the sixth week, and Simon is getting on my last nerve. He’s being horrifically domestic and caring. I hate it. (I love it.)

Every time he enters the room, he insists on changing out the cold facecloth I’ve been using to sooth my fever. He forcibly takes my temperature, and violently fluffs my pillows. It’s tragic how much I feel for this boy.

My symptoms have been changing for the worse. I’ve started getting migraines that keep coming and going. Unfortunately, my symptoms seem to be tied to Simon. If he enters the room, my head starts to spin and my stomach starts to churn. He makes my head pound, as if he were clubbing me to death with a very dull object. (I almost wish he would, if only to put me out of my misery.)

By far the worst recent development are the body aches. Merlin, the body aches. I can’t even make it to the bathroom on my own, much less go down to the Catacombs to quench my bloodthirst.

Halfway through the week Simon started bringing me rats in bed. It first happened after I collapsed when I tried to slip down to the Catacombs to feed.

I can’t make it out of bed, I know I can’t. Not without Simon helping me. I tried anyway.

I ended up making it halfway across the room before my legs seemed to give out. I need to feed; I can’t risk it. If I miss a day of feeding, I might get too weak to ever go feed again. I tried to stand, but I couldn’t do it. I was already too weak.   
  


Then, just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, the intense nausea set back in. I couldn’t make it to the bathroom. I end up being sick on the floor.

After about fifteen minutes of struggling not to be sick again while lying on the floor, Simon came back.

He helped me back into bed, and cleaned up. I don’t think he even griped once, although I may have lost consciousness more than a few times. When I woke up again, he was gone, but he’d left a box with a few rats in it at the foot of my bed. 

He hasn’t mentioned it since then. I don’t have the strength to object anymore.

My symptoms have never been as bad as they are today. Breathing has become difficult to do without coughing and wheezing.

It’s become a fight just to simply exist. Everything hurts.

Shifting around to drain the rats at the end of my bed hurts my arms and legs. I lie down and stop moving. The light streaming through the curtains that Simon tossed open this morning hurts my head. I close my eyes.

I feel the pull of something like sleep. It isn’t sleep… it’s deeper. More permanent.

This is it.

I feel my eyes flutter open one last time.

Blue eyes, bronze curls.

Simon Snow is alive.

And I was hopelessly in love with him.

**Simon**

I thought we had more time. It’s only been six weeks. I shake Baz awake, but his eyes only barely flutter open. His features relax, and he almost smiles.

His whole body is limp. He’s cold as ice again.

I rip back the blankets and tear open his pajama shirt, and a couple of the buttons go flying across the room. I press my ear to his chest.

It’s faint, but his heart is still beating.

I breathe a sigh of relief and feel the tears sliding down my face fall onto his chest. I pick my head up and take a long look at his face.

“ ** _When True Love’s Kiss The Spell Shall Break!_** ” I pour more than just magic into the spell and crash my lips into his.

His mouth is cold and still. I pull back.

It didn’t work.

I press my ear to his chest again and sob when I’m met with silence.

I was too late. He’s gone.

I find his hand with one of my own and trace his features with my other. I trace his sharp jawline, perfectly arched brows, and crooked nose until his face has been blurred by my tears. Those red heart-shaped marks seem to mock me. I rest my head on his shoulder for the first and last time. I breathe in his cedar and bergamot scent. I lift my head to look at him one last time.

“ ** _I love you, Baz._** ” I whisper, barely above a breath, and gently brush my lips against his as a final farewell.

Next thing I know, his head knocks into mine as he shoots up and doubles over coughing.

**Baz**

Air is rushing into my lungs and burning me from the inside out. Everything is bright and overwhelming, and it feels like I’ve got the world’s worst hangover.

“Simon,” I choke out, before resuming coughing.

“Baz! You- you’re not- but you were- you’re alive!” Simon stammers.

I glance at him, before asking hesitantly, “Was I… _not_ alive?”

“Baz, you-” he abruptly cuts himself off and his jaw falls open. He’s staring at my face and I start to feel my cheeks getting warm.

I rush to the bathroom. The heart-shaped marks that stain my cheeks are _glowing_.

“Snow, what did you-”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do I just panicked and I…” He places a hand on my shoulder and the glow of the marks becomes brighter.

He rips his hand back in shock, and the glow fades. He tentatively places his hand on the small of my back and the soft red light coming from my face glows impossibly brighter.

“Snow!” I whirl around to face him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers and a tear slips down his face. He’s crying. I made him cry. (It’s hardly the first time, but I haven’t done that in years.) “I thought you were…,” he trails off as his bottom lip quivers and more tears flow down his freckled cheeks.

He pulls me against him and I emit an embarrassing noise of surprise.

“I thought I lost you,” Simon breathes, barely loud enough for me to hear. Thank Merlin for my heightened senses.

“Snow, what happened?” I probe softly.

“You… your heart wasn’t beating, and I didn’t know what to do, I panicked,” He mumbles into my shirt, not letting go of his grip around my waist.

“What _did_ you do?” I ask.

“I… cast a spell.”

“What spell?” I ask and pull out of his grasp, narrowing my eyes at him.

He doesn’t answer, he just looks at the floor.

“Snow, what was the spell?” I demand, stronger.

That’s when I realize that I’m standing up on my own, without difficulty. Without _discomfort_ even! In fact, I feel fine. I feel better than I have since I first showed symptoms of Lovesickness. I turn back towards the bathroom mirror, and gasp.

The heart shaped marks on my face and neck are completely gone.

My vision is clear for the first time in over a month. The room isn’t spinning. I feel… cold. I’ve never been so happy to be cold in my entire life.

I spin back around and grab Simon by his shoulders.

“Snow, what spell did you use?” I demand again.

“Er… well it wasn’t a spell, exactly,” Simon dances around the question. “I just… said something with magic and… well it worked.”

“What did you say?” I ask hesitantly. I let go of his shoulders when I realize how close we’re standing. I take two steps back and my legs bump the bathroom counter. 

Simon takes two steps forward, and he’s in my space again. He’s so close, I think I might kiss him. He’s staring at my lips, and I find myself staring at his.

“Simon-” I start to ask him what he’d said again, but I’m interrupted because _he’s_ kissing _me_.

He pulls away all too soon.

“I- I’m sorry,” Simon mutters, still staring at my lips. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

I clear my throat. Of course he didn’t mean it, he would never kiss me on purpose.

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Simon whispers darkly.

“What?” I ask, thinking I misheard him.

“That bloke you’re in love with. He doesn’t deserve you,” His voice is soft, but there’s a harsh edge to his words.

“What?” I definitely misheard him.

Simon grabs my hands and meets my eyes, tears making his plain blue ones shine like glass marbles.

“Baz, I know you don’t want to, but please, tell me who he is. I need to know, I just…,” he pauses and takes a shaky breath. “I need to know who could be worth dying over to you.”

I yank my hands out of his and he flinches, but I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss him hard. This kiss is different than the first one, it’s not slow or gentle. Kissing Simon Snow is like fighting him, neither of us giving the other an inch, meeting each other in the middle with equal intensity.

When we finally pull away, we’re both breathing heavily, but I don’t let go of him.

“It’s you, you absolute nightmare,” I hiss, but my tone is nowhere near threatening.

I am going to die, but not today. I am going to die kissing Simon Snow.

* * *

**Simon**

“Of course ‘When True Love’s Kiss The Spell Shall Break’ wouldn’t work, Simon! That only works on _spells_ , not Magickal Sicknesses. There isn’t a spell for it to break,” Penny scolds me lightly at dinner. She was only a little shocked when I told her what had happened.

Dev and Niall sit down next to us, which Penny has told me is not a recent development. Apparently, Niall and Penny have become good friends (despite her telling me she doesn’t need more friends).

“Snow,” Dev nods in acknowledgement.

“How’s Baz?” Niall asks worryingly.

“Ask me yourself,” Baz answers for me, standing behind Dev and Niall. They both jump and almost fall out of their chairs when they scramble to pull him into a hug. He rolls his eyes, but smiles fondly at them.

“So, you two finally figured it out?” Dev asks as he and Niall sit back down.

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re on about, Grimm,” Baz deadpans as he sits down next to me and kisses me on the cheek.

It’s been a week since Baz and I “figured it out”. It’s been six days since I asked him if I could be his terrible boyfriend.

It’s nice, being his terrible boyfriend. I get to hold him close to me, and kiss him. I get to do all the things I’ve always wanted to do to him, like running my fingers through his hair and comparing the sizes of our hands (his are only slightly bigger.)

I let Baz finally leave our room today. I made him rest for the week because he was still feeling the side effects of not being able to eat for two weeks.

Things are different now, between Baz and I. It’s a good different. He lets me keep the window open at night, as long as I cuddle him. He helps me with my Latin homework, he has the time because _of course_ he still managed to keep up with his schoolwork when he was deathly ill. He even managed to stay ahead of Penny, which she was mildly upset about.

Baz and I still fight a lot. Or no, not fight, we bicker. Dev told us we sounded like a married couple, and Baz blushed so hard at that that you could almost see it on his face.

It’s not bad anymore though, to fight with him. It’s not just petty insults and empty accusations anymore. We’re just “exchanging banter”, to quote Baz.

We’re good together. Much better than when we were enemies, at least I say so. I told Baz this and he bitterly agreed.

I also told him I kissed him when he was… well, _dead_. (He was a little upset that he “wasn’t alive for his first kiss”.)

He says he loves me too.

I’ve always been terrible with words. Baz isn’t, Baz is great with words.

I think that out of all the long, posh words he’s ever used, those are the most beautiful ones he’s ever said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo! So, that's the end! How did I do? I hope you liked it! (I feel like I'm not very good at endings and falling action, so it took me a lot longer than usual to write this chapter.)
> 
> Anyways, thank you all so much for reading (i hope you liked it)! I've got multiple fics in the works right now, so if you're interested in reading more of my work, those will be out soon! 
> 
> Thanks so so much to everyone who leaves kudos and comment, you guys are the only thing that fuels my motivation through my writer's block!
> 
> Thanks again for reading, love you all!! <3 <3


End file.
